Friday afternoon I jolted down Via Del Rey away from South Pasadena to begin my exodus journey in a shuttle bus. I stretched my legs out on the vacant seat and monitered cheeto exchanges between ghetto hoochies and handicapped Mexicans. The bus continued on in silence, save the pulsating beat leaking from someone's ipod headphones, and I reclined uneasily enveloped in the chill of exorbitant air conditioning. It really hit me then what will change next year, and I blinked and green California rolled by through the tint of of the window, and I was overcome with the strongest sense of, I don't know, some nameless breed of futility, and like I was being torn away from something getting good. Future is this big looming X, and say its value is a-z, seniors leaving feels like the removal of f through h. I'm left with a damaged X as a future- it doesn't quite add up to what it should. Some crucial consonants are missing, and those consonants are the diverse and ridiculous characters that make up the 07 class.

That is actually a terrible way to explain it. And this is probably a lame and cowardly forum for me to explain it on in the first place.

I guess just head on what I am trying to say is, seniors- that doesn't even seem like the right pronoun- ok well, even more directly- max and jeremy:

Do you remember who I was last year? I was some floundering and insecure fashion victim that could pass under the guise of "cool" if I avoided enough direct contact. Although the elsie/emily/priscilla triumvirate was ill-fated from the start, the convenient geography of the welding table area for chilling and close proximity to natalie for elsie led me to meet and bond with your whole group. Through our exchanges last year and this year I somehow developed a gauge of judgement and was renewed in my faith in the human mind. Even if I was just standing back listening I appreciated every insight, and that even with my sparce contributions to conversational dialouges I was accepted into the circle rather than tumor-fied. And for my junior and senior year when the whole group will have vanished like it never existed at all, I think I'll always have wisps of jeremy, max, irene, miranda, teresa and other 07 ghosts trailing behind me (and most likely eliza will be literally trailing behind me)

there is more to say than that, more than i can even fully communicate, but for now, just thanks max and jeremy for respectivley being such outstanding individuals! Thanks for being witness and victim to my extreme awkwardness yet still talking to me everyday in spite of it. I will miss you all, and honestly i'm still coming to grips with your departures from sphs, even though I know you're of course going on to things and places more exciting than our dinky little authoritarian high school

As for Israel I leave Friday and don't even know how to contain myself until then. Except to write this entry I have pretty much nonstop been studying encyclopedias and atlas's and taking notes from books and websites and making hebrew flashcards and there is just so much to know! I will probably write an entry about Hamas and Fatah before I go, but rest assured, we're definitley not going into the gaza strip or west bank.

oh and annie i never got to write anything long and sentimental in your yearbook, but know that I would have, and you are one of my top priority postcard recipients

when did livejournal become my primary method of communication? Oh yeah, when I deleted my myspace, stopped going on aim, lost my cell phone, and uh, lets see, what other forms of communication have i excommunicated myself from? i'm sure any kind conceivable.